School of Life Graphic of inner voyager reaching the depths of the true self

Accessing Your Inner Truth: A Journey to Self-Discovery

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to lose touch with our innermost feelings and beliefs. Surface thoughts often eclipse our deepest convictions, leading us away from our authentic selves. How do we reconnect?

The School of Life, in their thought-provoking video “How To Find Out What You Really Think And Why”, dives into this very paradox of the mind: the inability to access our true feelings about pivotal matters.

It’s quite a phenomenon: the genuine sentiments about a close friend, career choices, or even childhood memories can remain concealed within us, invisible to our conscious awareness. Instead, what we grapple with are superficial, sometimes misguided snapshots of our desires and intentions. Quick judgments made out of fear or haste become our go-to narratives.

“Our childhood was fun,” we proclaim, even when shadows lurk beneath the surface. “Our new friend is nothing but kind,” we tell ourselves, ignoring any gut feelings of unease. Why? We’ve grown in a world that stresses rapid action, which often means overlooking the layered nature of our consciousness.

It’s not just about speed. Diving deep can be unsettling. Uncovering the truths from our subconscious might challenge the image we’ve built of ourselves in the broad daylight. The revelations may not always align with societal norms or even our own expectations. Hence, many of us opt for the comfort of feeling ‘normal’ rather than facing the startling truths of our innermost selves.

However, connecting with our inner sanctum isn’t as complicated as it might seem. All it requires is:

  1. Time: Daily moments of solitude, perhaps lying in bed or soaking in a bath, or sitting comfortably in a quiet place.
  2. Attention: Close your eyes and focus on pressing issues or feelings that demand reflection.
  3. Genuine Inquiry: Ask yourself – “What do I truly feel about this? What’s the real issue here? What is my heart whispering?”

Treat this exercise as a journey, not a destination. What you’ll likely discover is enlightening. The answers, much like stars hidden during the day, have always been there. They simply await the quieting of the sun—our daily distractions—to shimmer in the night sky. The truth is, deep down, we often already know our feelings about friendships, our purpose, and what truly benefits our well-being. All we need is the courage and patience to tune in.

To dive deeper into this enlightening journey of self-discovery watch the full video below and take the first step towards uncovering your inner truths.

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The Irresistible Lure of the Unavailable: A Dive into the Human Heart

For many, the allure of love is often found in those who are near, accessible, and very much within our grasp. Yet, peculiarly enough, the heart sometimes veers in an entirely different direction. This video from the School of Life titled “The Charms of Unavailable People” throws light on this intriguing paradox of human emotion.

“Though one might imagine that it’s the available ones who charm us, the curious truth is that very often it’s the elusive, not-returning-our-calls ones that really develop a power over us.” From falling for someone continents away to being drawn to a married individual, to the heartbreaking allure of someone with limited days due to a grave illness, all of these situations share a common thread – the external obstacles of love. Such barriers paradoxically intensify our yearnings, making the love seem all the more potent, almost forbidden.

One may argue that true love should overcome all barriers, but reality often writes a different script. Sometimes, the very challenges that should keep two individuals apart become the glue that binds them tighter. These challenges paradoxically stoke our desire, making the heart yearn more fiercely against the odds. On the flip side, those in a seemingly secure relationship might find it crumbling, leaving them grappling with pain, trust issues, and a shattered heart.

Childhood plays a significant role in how we handle such emotional trials. Those raised with consistent love and care find it slightly easier to move on from heartbreaks. In contrast, others might struggle more, clinging on to impossible relationships, seeking love in hidden corners, and risking it all for moments of ephemeral happiness.

While the mysteries of the heart remain vast and complex, one truth shines clear – treading carefully in the realm of love might eventually lead us to the right destination. For love, in its truest form, is a bond shared with someone who understands, cherishes, and grows with us over time.

So, if you’ve ever wondered about the magnetic pull of someone just out of reach, or questioned why your heart beats for someone so clearly “wrong” for you, this video offers some illuminating insights. Dive in, and discover the charming, painful, and bewildering journey of loving the unavailable.

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How to Make Love Last Forever

This insightful video from the School of Life is aptly titled “How to Make Love Last Forever”. At the dawn of relationships, it’s usual to find ourselves immersed in a powerful wave of admiration and longing for our partners.

We relish their company, continually preoccupied with their myriad abilities and accomplishments. Yet, as time passes, this fervour cools, a phenomenon often attributed to the mundanity of constant exposure. This video explores the deeper, psychologically complex reasons behind this shift, which reveal a far more optimistic perspective. Our initial infatuation and experience is the hope we have that our relationship can be all that we truly long for. However we also need to do the work and truly understand who we are if these seeds are to grow and produce the fruit of love.

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Alaine de Botton – Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person

I was recently captivated by this thought provoking presentation by Alain de Botton on stage at The School of Life, where he unravelled some profound notions first presented in his thought-provoking New Yorker essay, “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person.”

With his trademark blend of wisdom, wit, and vulnerability, de Botton delves into the complexities of modern relationships, challenging conventional beliefs and offering a compelling perspective on the elusive nature of true love. I particularly loved the way he explored the delicate balance between our yearning for happiness and the inevitable imperfections that accompany human connection. In this video de Botton talks about how rage is an indicator of the hope that things can be better in our relationship, a theme we explore in EFT as well. Watch it alone or with your partner to seed some hope in your relationships.

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